Staying in? Of course you are. Look at the weather, for crying out loud
Yes, the weather has been largely abysmal so far this summer. There’s every chance the very reason you’re reading this right now is because you’re stuck inside because of the rain, mindlessly scrolling through your phone to pass the time.
Given there’s a good chance you’re not going to be spending your Saturday evening at a barbecue or in some sun-kissed beer garden, you might as well stop in and watch a film.
Thankfully, there are plenty of decent options on the box tonight, and we’ve picked out the cream of the crop to help you decide how you spend your evening.
The Jungle Book – BBC One – 5pm
The live-action version that stars Idris Elba as Shere Khan and Christopher Walken as the jazz-loving King Louie. This movie brings the beloved Disney classic to life in a way that must have seemed impossible when the original came out all those years ago. Also features Bill Murray as Baloo.
Deadpool – Channel 4 – 9pm
Ryan Reynolds’ wise-cracking, fourth-wall-breaking, unkillable Marvel-but-not-MCU superhero gets his first leading role. This film shook up the superhero genre, making it more raunchy and 10 times funnier.
Riddick – E4 – 9pm
Vin Diesel beats the shit out of people, if you’re into that kind of thing.
Sin City – SyFy – 9pm
An extremely violent graphic novel brought to life, starring the likes of Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, Clive Owen, Jessica Alba, Elijah Wood, Rosario Dawson and Benicio Del Toro. Features “special guest” direction from Quentin Tarantino. Somewhat surprised they’re even allowed show this movie at 9pm.
The Blues Brothers – ITV4 – 9pm
One of the most fun films ever, starring the wonderful, gone-too-soon John Belushi alongside Dan Aykroyd in their two-man blues band. Together, the Saturday Night Live legends jam with Ray Charles, Cab Calloway and Aretha Franklin, fuck up a bunch of Nazis and save an orphanage. That’s what it means to be on a mission from God.
Eddie the Eagle – Film Four – 9pm
A biographical sports comedy drama about Michael “Eddie the Eagle” Edwards. Feel-good, underdog stuff and it all really happened. This one is a cracker.
Billy Elliott – BBC One – 10.20pm
The story of a kid who loves to dance and hates Margaret Thatcher. What more could you possibly ask for?
The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies – ITV- 10.45pm
I know what you’re thinking, what if I haven’t seen any of the other Hobbit or Lord of the Ring films? Will I still understand what’s going on? No, no absolutely not, I’m afraid. The main thing to remember is that the orcs are bad.